It’s going to take a temporary coalition of political and ideological enemies to impeach the occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania and to extricate us (the U.S.) from his destructive rampage.
Conservatives, Liberals, Democrats, Republicans, and Independents must join forces. And even, yes, even my people – the ones with whom I most closely align: The socialists, the social anarchists, the anti-fascists, artists, hippies and freaks. I’m calling on everyone within the reach of these words to lay down your rhetorical arms and call a temporary truce – we have to come together, for the sole purpose of vanquishing the Orange Menace.
Stop with the political science debates. Stop assigning blame to whoever you believe started this mess. Stop shirking responsibility with endless “I told you so”s. Start talking with your political enemies, start sharing ideas, start finding common strategies toward impeachment. I know it feels like an unholy alliance, but the house is burning. We can’t afford to stand on the lawn and argue about who started the fire or what color to paint the new house. Or, worse yet, to stand and gape at the mesmerizing spectacle. Grab a goddamn hose!
We will definitely win. Compared to the power we hold together, Pumpkinhead White-House-Guy has extremely small and insignificant support – almost as small and insignificant as his digits. He’s got a tiny (albeit loud) fraction of the American electorate. He’s got Netanyahu in Israel and Putin’s Russian Oligarch pee party. He’s got Sean “my father beat me every day and I turned out fine” Hannity and other equally damaged and bat-crazy talkers on Faux Noise, and Pepe the Frog.
If that sounds like a lot, it’s not. Israel and Russia can kiss my radical ass. Fox’s entire business plan is to convince the dumbest and meanest ‘Muricans to buy commemorative coins, hair plugs, and bunker food … And as for the goddamn Tiki torch Nazis – talk about small, talk about weak? We’ll dispense with them like a Florida hurricane dispenses with a plastic lawn chair.
That’s it. That’s all he’s got. Even the Congressional Repugs are ready to crack. They haven’t yet, but the last plastic straw is about to break that camel’s back. We’ve got everybody else! We’ve got the numbers. We’ve got the power. Congressional Dems are in the bank, of course. Not that they care about representative Democracy any more than the Repugs, but they know their own advantage when they see it.
Now, let me talk to my people: The socialists, anarchists, anti-fascists, artists, hippies and freaks. If that’s not you, stop reading, click to another site. Let us have the room, we’re gonna caucus.
Listen guys, the Orange Blob is doing some actual, real, serious, and lasting damage here. I know, I know, it’s not about him… it’s about the system that created him. It’s about the Capitalist plutocrats who use him as their own personal hand puppet as they ream the world. Tiny Fart-Mouth is just the natural and inevitable result of years of American treachery perpetrated by evil, self-serving, money-hoarding, labor-stealing, child-molesting, environmental rapists and war-mongers.
Yes, you’re right about that – of course you’re right about that. And yes, Doctor Frankenstein was an ass hat, but the villagers still had to kill his monster once it started throwing little girls in the lake. Well, Long-Red-Tie Fatso-Grandpa is now throwing little girls into lakes. We’ve got to stop him now. Then we’ll deal with his creator.
“The enemy of my enemy is my friend,” or so the saying goes. I’ll never be cynical enough to believe that. But we can’t kill the monster alone – we’ve got to join with those we now mock and revile: Conservatives, capital ‘L’ Liberals, Democrats, Repugs, Independents, and even, yes even, the most feckless, cowardly and culpable of them all – the Moderates.
Killing off the present-day monster, or putting out the present-day raging fire – choose your metaphor – is not sufficient to cleaning up the holy mess that is America, but it is the first and absolutely necessary step. A temporary alliance with our ideological foes will not taint our mission, not if the cause is worthy. And this cause is worthy. The Grotesque Bloated Comb-over must be impeached. And it’s going to take all of us. An alliance!
I know. I share your reticence. Align with Conservatives? Consort with Capitalists? Join forces with political cynics and hacks? I’m choking on these words as I write them. A foul stench fills my nostrils. But if the KFC-in-Chief wins the day I fear losing any chance of a better world for generations to come.
But let’s not act in fear. Let’s act in hope, the hope that out of this wreckage Americans might once and for all open their eyes to the inherent evil in the system and join us in creating a better world. I’m not asking you to put away your vision for that better world – where money, power, and violence are replaced by cooperation, justice, and peace – I’m just asking you to hold your nose for a minute and make it possible.
Charles Bursell has been heard nationally on SiriusXM, National Public Radio, and The Pacifica Radio Network. He currently hosts the podcast Charles Bursell Presents.